A honeymoon story told by one of my teachers, Swami Rahasya: when two people come together in an agreement of relationship there comes a time when they wish to consummate this relationship, and so they approach a guide in such things…
The guide begins by taking each to their own room. Instruction is given on using breath and meditation techniques to raise their sexual energy.
They are guided to touch themselves, exploring their bodies as they would a lover. Slowly, patiently, curiously, playfully, experimentally, daringly – but with no objective of orgasm or release of any kind. Letting the energy rise and fall without any urgency or need for it to be a particular kind in experience, or look a certain way.
This each practices on their own until they are well acquainted with themselves and skilled with their sexual energy.
The couple are then brought to a luxurious love nest where, even still, they are kept apart.
Each is invited in turn to show to the other their self-love making, their confidence and mastery of their energy.
In detail they reveal their pleasure, the places they touch, the quality they bring, the sounds they make and the way their bodies move in their highest states of sexual ecstasy, being revealed and witnessed in their Bliss. They teach each other the dance of their sexual energy.
It is only then that they are guided together to share in each others pleasure and delight.
A simple exercise you can do with yourself or a partner…
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, relax, and allow your breathing to slow and deepen.
Then, sensing into your heart, bring into being a feeling of love. To remind you of, and connect with that feeling of love, you may bring to memory an experience when you felt love.
Breath into your heart and welcome that feeling – invite it into your experience and feel its warmth.
Allow it to expand gently, radiating out so that eventually it is flowing down your arms, into your hands and fingers.
Allow it to expand so much that it creates an energy field of love around your whole body. If you are with a partner, included them in that energy field and begin to sense into their heart.
Now, with the warmth of that love flowing through your hands, begin to touch yourself and/or your partner. Subtly at first, allowing for the meeting to take place, and sensing always into the energy so that you can honour the truth of the moment.
Have no objecting – there is no knowing, you listen and feel.
Keep reconnecting with your breath, and the feeling of love, to keep present in the experience so that you can quieten and listen.
Honour any feelings that come up by acknowledging them and allowing them to be felt – there’s nothing else you need to do.